An Atheist Death: Part One

Ladies and gentlemen,

I am an atheist. I am not agnostic. I do not believe in a god. I do not believe that there is the possibility of a god or higher power.

I have been, in all technicality, an atheist since I was 14 years old. Since that time, I’ve explored theological options and thoughts, both of my own and the peers before me. During a stint of my young adult life, I had considered the possibility that I might be a Satanist according to the philosophical teachings of Anton LaVey. That ended when I informed myself on the organization only to discover that there was a 500$ membership fee. Basically a hypocrisy within a mockery of hypocrisy.

At that point I denounced all religions. Each one, to me, is no different than the other in that they offer answers without facts. Spare me the loophole responses concerning the miracle of gods around us. That is bullshit. Science has been the only logical provider of detailed facts I’ve been given to answer many of life’s mysteries.

That poses a problem. Science, based on my views and values, provides the facts.

After my disappointing search for spirituality, it was safe to conclude that I was an atheist. That’s fine. I don’t need to feel the comforts of divine manipulation to feel secure about the life I lead or the path I choose. I’m a good person. I don’t steal. I don’t hate based on misinformed or misguided reasons. And despite what I write, I believe everyone is allowed the right to live.

This brings me back to my point and the main topic of this rant. See, without religion or some fantastical belief of the afterlife, I am left shadowed by the prospect of death. It’s not a fear. It’s a simple anxiety towards the unknown. Like taking the wrong turn and finding yourself on a unfamiliar path. You’re not afraid but you just… don’t like it.

Albert Einstein’s (as if I was talking of some other Einstein) obituary in the New York Times, April 19, 1955, quoted; I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own — a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotisms.

I agree with him that it is impossible to imagine a god influenced by man. To accept a omnipotent being created to cater humanity’s self absorbed egos. I find it difficult to believe that throughout our lives we are judged based on our actions, for one man’s definition of good is another man’s evil. It’s unfathomable for me to accept that throughout our world, those who follow the laws of religion proceed to a rewarded afterlife despite the contradictions among said dogmas.

In short, I believe what Einstein said.

To a point.

I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in god. I don’t agree with any common religion or cult. Yet I disagree that this is all there is. Einstein didn’t believe in life after death, and I hope for his sake and mine that he’s wrong. I can’t even begin to pretend I believe in a god, yet I can successfully fool my mind into hoping that there is a life after death. Why?

Anxiety of the unknown.

I’m an atheist in life and agnostic in death.

I’ll continue this rant next week. Feel free to comment.

– Mr. Grin


A final plug and note: I’ve recently added a second short story to my website, free to download as a PDF. The story can also be found on my DeviantArt account.

Also, I’ve activated my author’s account on Goodreads. Feel free to check it out .

Finally, there is a new page on Facebook for my book, Princess Nonomi. As always, the novel is now available through

That is all. The progress is slow but as it stands, I’m creating something from this blog.


Links:   My website: Micheal Grin

My Goodreads: Goodreads

Princess Nonomi Facebook page: Princess Nonomi on Facebook



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